My Culture?

So I've been living in Japan for a few months now. And it's been... interesting. Can I say that it was even more difficult adjusting than I had thought? Like how I told my sister (who I'm living with while I'm here), last time I came to Japan I knew I was going home after the summer was done with. But this time it's different because I'm not going home to Thailand, after these next three months are over with I'll be going to the States (I have the smallest chance to visit Thailand for a month). There's something daunting about going back to the Sates. Maybe because I've learned while I'm here is that I do lack 'American grace'.
All of my siblings have grown up in Asia. My sister lived in the Philippines for ten years before we adopted her then lived in Japan with us for two before going to America for the first time and of course both my brothers lived in Japan for two years then Thailand for a number of years. Then there's me. Me and my sister got on the subject of our upbringing and how different her's was from mine (she is eleven years older so there was a difference in upbringing) and with a chuckle and shake of the head she said, "You are the most Asian of us all." I had never really thought of that before. I had never really considered that I was very Asian. But as I had written in my blog post about being a TCK, while in Asia I'm American, but while in America I'm Asian. So kind of a lose lose situation there. It's confusing and just... strange. I don't like hugs, I don't really care much for hand shakes (really just human contact with people I don't know is very uncomfortable), and how familiar people are with each other.
Growing up in Asia, I learned that you don't get too close with people, you don't act like they're your best friend when you first meet. But with Americans, it's different. They act so casual with one another, it almost reminds me of Filipinos and how, after one meeting, they're like best friends. It's odd. But then there is still that distance between two people when they first meet. So my question is almost always, 'how close is too close?' Because they're acting like they've known you forever, but then you ask a certain question and you're both strangers again. Like I said, it's odd.
And once again... it's been difficult. Besides my whole family being scattered across the globe, deep down I'm a homebody. I like to be close to my parents (what can I say, I'm the baby of the family?) and don't care much for things changing. So it's been difficult adjusting to the different culture and all because it is so different and let's also add that this is the first time I've been away from my parents for a long time (again I'm the baby of the family).
So while it's been fun, I've got to hang out with my sister more than I've been able to before and get to be around her family. I get to live in Japan again, I have great friends. But homesickness still hits me... I begin to miss the people I left behind there.

Life of a TCK

I will admit, part of the reason I'm writing about life as a TCK, is
due the fact that I have no idea what else to write about so this just seemed like something someone would be interested in.

So for those of you who don't know, I'm a third culture kid (duh, you should know that. I mean seriously, I have it posted like everywhere and use every moment I have to rub it in your face).
A TCK is a person who has grown up anywhere but their actual country of origins or someone who has lived in multiple countries. For myself, my passport country is the US, but I've lived in Thailand for ten of my eighteen years. TCKs are more commonly found in military families, missionary families, kids of diplomats,
and others. Pretty simple right?
I don't want to say that my family is any different from any other TCK's, but mine is a little strange. I didn't actually realize how weird my family was until my brother, Matt (the Matt I mentioned in my last post about Land and Freedom) joined the military and had to give details about his family (you know stuff like that, to make sure no one is in leagues with terrorists or anything).
Let me give you a little bit of detail about my life; me and my brothers are half Filipino and half American, my sister is adopted and really my cousin so she's full Filipino. I was born in Japan while my brothers were born in Utah. My sister in law is French and my brother in law is American. And my sister and her husband live in Japan. And of course before I forget, me and my parents live in Thailand.

So extremely short story of my life. So before my parents decided to become missionaries and move to Thailand, my dad was an air traffic controller for the United States Air Force. And that's the reason why I was born in Japan, because my dad was stationed there for several years. I don't remember much about Okinawa, Japan since we moved to Florida before my second birthday. I lived in Florida for roughly around five years until we moved to Chiang Mai, Thailand a month before I turned eight.
When I went back to the States four years later, family friends in Florida asked me and my family what it was like to be 'home'. 'Home'... that word is the hardest for a lot of TCKs to define. To me and my brothers, Florida isn't home. It just isn't. I don't have many memories of the States being 'home'. To me Thailand is home. But in other ways it kind of isn't. I've been an outsider my entire time in Thailand. Because of my white features, I'm always considered the foreigner. My brother Josh (yes, the borderline hipster one), gave the perfect definition of being a TCK, "When I'm in Thailand I feel like a foreigner, but when I'm in the States I feel so Asian." That pretty much sums it up. I fortunately haven't gotten the chance to really feel like this yet, but we'll see next year when I return to the States.

Growing up in Thailand, being bi racial, and being born in Japan has made me quite a confused child. My dad once told me he was surprised when he had heard that my brother, Josh had gone through an identity crisis. To that I chuckled and told my dad that all of kids have gone through at least a small identity crisis at least once in our lives. Being a TCK is extremely confusing and we get confused on what we are and where we come from.

Link to a short film about TCKs: http://vimeo.com/41264088